Tuesday, September 4, 2012


Today we practised re-crafting a piece of writing. The first one belongs to Aldora and the second is mine.

“Oh my god” I said, I never knew cross country was going to be so hard and long. When I got half way I started to sprint so I could catch up to some girls but sadly I didn’t. I was getting closer to the finish line and I was so proud of myself.

Approaching half-way, I began to sprint. I felt exhausted , but I kept on running because I wanted to catch up to the other girls.Feeling gutted, I made my way closer to the finish line. I just wasn't fit enough to keep up with them. How fit do you think you are?


  1. Hi Shalom,

    I can see that you edited your paragraph very well. Great use of topic words I see.

    I'm leaving now, so, bye!


  2. Hi Shalom!

    I'm a student in EDM310 at the University of South Alabama. Thank you so much for sharing this post with us. You're very talented at editing papers. This is such a great skill to have, because it will help you throughout all of your schooling. Keep up the good work! I've very excited to read more of your posts!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.