Oh man I’m staying with my brothers. Home alone with my brothers is just boring. I mean the holiday is normal well was normal, the skies were blue but it was not because of that, that made it boring it was something deep inside of me, I just had that feeling that today would be a bad day or even worse, a dreadful day.
Several days later, “this is a good holiday” I spoke.how could this day get any better, oh I see, we are going to the basketball today. Hooray!!!!
BOING, BOING ,as the ball bounced on the court the ball went through the air and, “ Swish “ it’s a goal. The Breakers have one they win the cup they have beaten Miami heat, oh woops sorry about that. Where was I, oh yeah I got a goal that is where I was.
The holiday has seemed so cool even that last day when I played Basket ball. What a holiday. It had come to an end, the cool things I did were done. At least I had fun.
“It’s time to go to bed Lomby”my dad said. “Okay” Dad I replied.
Several days later, “this is a good holiday” I spoke.how could this day get any better, oh I see, we are going to the basketball today. Hooray!!!!
BOING, BOING ,as the ball bounced on the court the ball went through the air and, “ Swish “ it’s a goal. The Breakers have one they win the cup they have beaten Miami heat, oh woops sorry about that. Where was I, oh yeah I got a goal that is where I was.
The holiday has seemed so cool even that last day when I played Basket ball. What a holiday. It had come to an end, the cool things I did were done. At least I had fun.
“It’s time to go to bed Lomby”my dad said. “Okay” Dad I replied.
After paragraph one I would have loved hearing how that day turned out - was it dreadful, bad or turn out beautifully?
ReplyDeleteRemember to include enough information to keep your audience involve din your story.
keep it up Shalom.
ok
DeleteHI SHolom!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story you have. I also have enjoyed looking at your basketball picture. But the only thing you need to fix was your writing on how its has words that you used, at nd it didn't really match the word you were trying to say. Apart from that you have did a great job.
Keep it up!!!!!!1
Hello Shalom, I absolutely loved how your story began sadly, but gradually got better towards the end. I love the game of basketball and I can tell that you do as well being that it is the reason of your sudden happiness over the time spent during the holiday. I agree with Miss K you should always give your audience a reason to read more and more of whatever the subject you may be writing about. I am a college student at the University of South Alabama and I am in a class called EDM310 which is guiding me with the steps at how to blog; part of an assignment of mine brought me here to view your blog and I am glad it did. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Shalom, my name is Garreth Trawick a student at the university of South Alabama. I am currently taking a class called EDM310 which is teaching me the steps on how to blog. Part of my assignment this week brought me to your blog to view in order to help mine. Kind of a funny thought to think that in a way you are teaching me when you blog. I feel that you and I have a lot in common after reading your post today. How your holiday started off pretty bad, then you were able find happiness a few days later by playing basketball. I absolutely love the game of basketball and it give me a lot of happiness too. I played basketball all my years of high school, then four more years at the college level for Auburn University. This past year I was blessed with the opportunity to be the head coach of the 7th and 8th grade boy’s team at Cottage Hill Christian Academy in Mobile, AL. Basketball is a big reason for my return to college to become certified as a teacher. Hoping I can coach wherever I end up teaching. I really hope basketball continues to give you happiness because it has given me happiness for the past ten years. I agree with Miss. K on keeping your audience involved by giving a little bit more information about what you’re talking about, because I would love to know what turned your holiday sadness around and why basketball made it that much better. Your blog looks great! And take it easy on the Miami Heat, that’s my favorite team.
ReplyDelete